A new creation

Today is a time of great change for me and I spent Christmas removing many of my old diary entries on this website, about 202 in total, some of which were posted from my original diary I have had since 1979 when I first started writing.

God revealed to me that I am a new creation and I no longer need to share my past. Yes, it was a rough life learning to scrape together a living in the wilderness of Alaska, but it was my past.

While my past is my testimony, it’s also something I left behind and I want to leave behind forever. I really cant explain it, but something has been happening to me and I cant seem to put my finger on it. It was a different Christmas this year.

I am now so uninterested in many of my old habits, things I did for a good time, old friends, and even going out to the mall is dull.

As I was going through this strange phase I get a call from an old friend over the Christmas break that was playing a show in Tacoma and needed a guitar player. His guitarist broke his little finger and having nothing to do I jumped at the chance to get back on stage, but as I was playing the set something happened.  I looked out over the audience and saw hundreds of broken people.  You could see them lined up at the bar stations getting drinks, some staring at us with that look, and others using drugs. It was an eye opening experience and I came home changed.

This Christmas I spent time cleaning up my temple, and to be honest as I throw things away I am upset at some of the things I thought were so important to me like my reputation, the size of my house, and the things I own.  At one time I considered these to be on my A list, but now they are down at the bottom. I am selling my Hummer. The memories I have in that truck rolling through the Alaskan Wilderness are not memories of what I am now. Why hold onto it?

I want to thank God for the hardships I am going through.  How else would I have changed into the man I am today if it was not for the disciplining of the Lord.

The more I preach the gospel, the more I am attacked.  The attacks are surgical now and they come like hot darts from places I never thought possible.  My friends, my church, and the government. Immoral trials, and dishonest people are coming against me.   I can even feel the stares of people as I venture out into society. I feel like a Leper.

But the Lord is good. What’s on my A list now is the homeless community.

Last Saturday I preached the gospel in a soaked tent inside tent city, and we had a small group of 18.

The floor was muddy from all of the rains we have had in Seattle and while the rain and wind were beating on that tent, those huddled inside were eager to hear the word of God and the Holy Spirit was so hot on my face for a moment I wanted to let God take me. It was so beautiful and warm in that place.  A tent full of mud in tent city is where I feel the Holy Spirit, not in a mega church.

To see an atheist cry. To see a mentally ill woman speak and read the gospel.  To mentor a 15 year old child who is homeless and to see mother and child smile and be filled with the Joy of Christ is more amazing to me than anything the world ever gave me. What a loss of time to finally realize this now.

The Devil is a liar.

Proverbs 3:13-15

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she [wisdom] is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.

I thank you God for putting me back in touch with the very people I came from. I thank you God for blessing me with a heart for the lost and I repent for trying to find happiness ina world on fire.

Pray for me as I mentor to the lost.

Brother Phil